Becoming Laurie

I have good days and bad days trying to adjust to this empty nest thing. When I wrote yesterdays post, I was having a very bad day. Today is better but not great.

This just seems like the perfect place to whine and complain. I can air my feelings, see them in black and white and try to adjust my attitude. I could write them in a paper journal but this way is kind of like burying your face in a pillow and screaming at the top of your lungs, and few will notice or hear, at least in my case.

Lindsey really is a kind and gentle soul as I described in my post entitled My Chicken. This issue is totally about me and my struggle to come to terms with this new way of life. I have to get it through my thick head that what was will never be again. That my relationship with my daughter is not the same as it was before she got married. I'm not sure exactly what this new relationship is supposed to look like but I will have to be deliberate about quieting my soul and trying to be content until this metamorphosis is complete.

I will choose to behave differently, to think differently, to speak differently. Maybe I will actually become Laurie. I wonder what she'll be like? I hope I like her.